Firefly

She ain’t just a girl,
She’ the girl.
She’s a flame.
Enigma.

She’s like fire,
Floating on
Tender ornate wings
Of a butterfly;
Fluttering past you
In the summer.

She’s broken
a many hearts
And had her heart
broken too,
One too many times.

You want her,
Like they all do..
But you can’t have her.
You need her,
Like them all..
But she doesn’t need you.

And if she wants you,
You can’t escape.
She always has her way.

If you get too close;
And if ever too soon,
You’ll dissolve your being
Into her, like hot wax.

But if she ever
Decides to be yours;
If she ever decides
To let you,
Into her life..

Don’t you leave her
And walk away.
Even if she misses you
Like it kills her,
She’ll never say.

Dont bind her down,
Let her fly free.
She’s like the wind
And will always be.

She needs to go
Where none else dare.
She dares to do,
What they all fear.
She has scores to settle
With society;
And she has a great cause,
She must fulfill.

Aye, she’s beautiful!
But not like Aphrodite.
She’s beautiful
Like Ares would be;
Were he lucky enough,
To be born a woman.

Aye, she’s a rebel!
But not like those idiots,
Shouting slogans
waving flags
rebelling just to rebel.
No.

She’s the kind of rebel,
Who changes and heals
The world.
She’s the kind of rebel,
Who leads the world
To light.

She’s independent.
She’s strong.
She’s tender within
But you’ll never know.
She cares a lot
But she’s too emotional
To really if ever,
let it show.

She’ll cry in her room
And walk out smiling,
The moment she steps
Outside the door.

She’ll start sentences
But stop in between.
“Anyway..” she’ll say
and go silent.
Just to hear you talk.

And when She begins to talk
about herself
she steers conversations..
To your dreams,
About your life,
And your goals
And your beliefs
And every boring detail,
About..you.

She may be having
The best time of her life
But she’ll tell you
Everything sucks,
Cause you’re not there.

If you’re lucky,
A girl like her
Will show up
In your life someday;
Like a beacon of light
In hopeless darkness;
Guiding you through,
Leading you out,
Of utter crap.

She’s something else.
She’s something different.
Patiently burning within..
Radiantly glowing without..

Like a firefly.

© Jay Kaushal

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The rain is my friend

…And the rain
Knocks on my window
Like friends pulling you
Out of your bed
On a Friday night
When you’re in bed early..
You’ve lost your job
Are too depressed
And broke
To want to drink
Or smile
Or even be able
to afford either
Even if you wanted to…

© Jay Kaushal

Image credits: http://www.pexels.com

New poems every Wednesday & Sunday..or anytime else inspiration strikes..

TMI Tag – Too Much Info about me!!

A while ago, fellow blogger Apple Rae tagged me to answer these questions below. I have been wanting to answer them from some time but boy! have I been busy. I’ve barely been able to keep up with my blogging schedule and firefight all the other areas of my life that are fast transforming.

But I like talking about myself. Which is ironic because I like to be known more through my work. So I guess thanks a lot Apple, for tagging me! I love your blog and have been following it actively since I started this blog in January.

So the idea behind the TMI tag is Too Much Information. I have tried to stay true to the meaning and toned down the responses to some questions. (You should be glad I did. Lol). I hope that the people I tag will also be good sports and answer these questions. 😉

What are you currently wearing?

Black tee and grey bermuda shorts.

Have you ever been in love?

Lol, Far too many times I think.

Have you ever had a terrible breakup?

Once again, Far too many times I think! lol

How old are you?

27

How tall are you?

5 feet 11 inches

How much do you weigh?

92 kgs

Do you have any piercings?

Used to, up until I was 24, I used to wear ear studs. I also had really long hair and a hippy beard. Then I cut my pony tail off, began to sport a clean shaven look and decided to do away with the ear studs as well.

What’s your favourite drink?

Spiced Buttermilk/ Creamy black tea.

What’s you favourite song?

‘All my love’ by Led Zeppelin.

What’s your zodiac sign?

Cancer. (Yeah, I am emotional AF! )

How long does it take you to shower?

Depends. After work out showers are longer generally. Morning showers are pretty quick.

What’s your favourite show?

FRIENDS. lol I watch a random episode almost every day.

What’s your favourite band?

Has been forever and always will be… Led Zeppelin.

Something you really miss?

Sneaking off on dates when I was 16. Oh I miss those times. I miss teenage. 🙂

Where do you go when you’re sad?

Depends on how sad I am. If I’m really sad I’ll switch off my phone and spend the rest of the day meditating in my room.. drapes shut, doors bolted. If I am ‘just so’ gloomy, I sit on a bench at a quiet corner in the park and smoke a bit, observe birds and people. Write a poem on my phone maybe. Channelize the sadness. lol. Sadness is beautiful. Don’t block it. Enjoy sadness…write poetry, draw sketches… paint! 😉

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Depends on where I’m going that day. I’m not a hop-out-of-bed-and-ready kind of guy. Usually, it makes me a long time. Most women could get ready faster than me! lol!

Have you ever been in a physical fight?

Lol lots. I used to get into way too many fights all through kindergarten, junior school, high school through college and until right before I started working. I suddenly mellowed down after I started working and focused my energies more on my career and pursuing creative endeavors. I rarely if ever get angry these days but you wouldn’t want to push me into a corner nevertheless.

What turns you on?

Depends on the person. 😉 Usually, a polished, cultured personality with a streak of hopeless romanticism and love for the arts. Someone who know how to carry themselves with grace. Grace is really important.

What turns you off?

Uncouth, insensitive, shallow, superficial behavior.

Qualities you look for in a partner?

Nothing in specific but someone reasonably good to look at, communicative and empathetic towards the disadvantaged and a strong sense of responsibility towards society. Romantic partnerships are strong when the sense of responsibility is strong. Both towards each other and to society.

What’s your favourite colour?

Blue, Dark Green, Pink, Black.. it depends, I don’t think I have one ‘favourite’ colour!!

Loud music or soft?

One with beats and energy mostly. I listen to a lot of EDM and acid rock these days. I hate ‘loud’ music. It should be intense but not loud. That is probably why I have never been to a concert or even a disco. My sense of hearing is way too sensitive.

Favourite quote?

“If it was meant to be, it will be.”

Favourite actor?

Ranbir Kapoor (Bollywood hero.) I watched ‘Rockstar’, one of his movies, 46 times! I highly recommend you watch it if you can find it with subtitles. It will leave you breathless! The acting.. the direction… the music.. breath-taking!

Do you have any fears?

Yes, I fear dying with unfulfilled dreams.

What’s the last thing that made you cry?

A street dog trying to revive his dead friend hit by a car. Graphic and upsetting.. I know. Let that be a lesson for driving safely. Also.. Adopt strays over shelling out big bucks for pedigrees. You’ll be doing a great act of kindness and saving at least one poor animal from living on the streets.

Polar bear dying of starvation on iceless land Global Warming is real. Global warming is coming for all of us eventually and if you want proof that shakes your soul to the core and stirs you into action, this video is it. Do something. Anything. Spread awareness.

Last time you said you loved someone?

To everyone reading this… I love you! You are special. The world needs you. Keep giving your best!

Last book you read?

India’s Struggle For Independence by Bipin Chandra

The book you’re currently reading?

Indian Polity by Laxmikanth

Last show you watched?

I’m more a Youtube kind of guy these days. Can’t recall when was the last time I watched a movie. Hardly have the time. 😦

Last place you were?

In a parallel world were I didn’t have to answer so many questions.

Last sport you played?

Not a sport but I love walking. I enjoy taking long walks. As in really long.. I once walked with a friend from one state to another. Realised only when we reached the border checkpost. 😀

Who’s the last person you talked to?

Anybody who’s reading this IS talking to me! Hey, what’s up with your life?

The last song you sang?

‘Imagine’ by John Lennon (I also like singing 1973 by James Blunt)

Favourite chat up line?

What have you been up to? All well?

Do you have a crush?

The only ‘crush’ I feel is the weight of my goals crushing me under them. Lol! But I have a huge crush on Emma Watson. 😉 I’m a sucker for British women. I think it’s the manners and the accent that bowls me over. 😀

The relationship between you and the person you last texted?

Friend.

Favourite food?

Garden Salad with Italian dressing.

Place you want to visit?

Peru. I’m obsessed with the place especially with the supposed ‘Ancient Aliens’ connection! Whenever I get a chance to go there, I am sure as hell going to pitch a tent on Mount Machu Picchu overnight.. as high up as possible.

What’s the last time you kissed someone?

Been a while.

Last time you were insulted?

I take it in stride and move on. Couldn’t remember even if I wanted to.

Favourite sweet?

I avoid sweets like the plague but I have a choco chip cookie once in a while. 😀

What instruments do you play?

I started playing the flute a little bit, a while ago. I’m more of a singer not so much with instruments.

Favourite piece of jewellery?

None per se. I do wear a rudraksha rosary on my wrist though. I wear a rudraksha rosary around my neck sometimes too. I find it extremely calming.

Last time you hung out with anyone?

Every evening with friends. It’s a schedule I try and adhere to. ?Unless I need ‘me time’.

Who should answer these questions next, tag them

Sapphire Wilson

Aanchal Gounder

Haripriya

Evana

Joseph Emerson

Vageesha

Shradha

Lucylu

Lou Rasmus

What to do if you’re tagged? Mention the person who tagged you, Answer the questions from above and let the people who you have tagged know, by commenting on their post.

Summer sunshine

Oh look the summer’s here.

The sun is shining,

In the freshness of

A Sky blue hue.

Soft green grass

Laid out for you

Like a carpet

Of welcome

To rest

Your weary soul.

Bees humming

Sparrows chirping

The cuckoo singing

In delight.

The winter was dreary

With the trees

All stripped naked

But look now they bear

Tasty fruit ripe.

O come let’s bask

In this lazy afternoon sun.

Let’s lay down on the grass

Arms outstretched,

Carefree in leisure

Gazing into vastness;

Watching fluffly white bunnies

Hopping across the sky

Butterflies, as they flutter by

Jetplanes lazily streaking away

Up and away…

Through the clouds so high

It’s time to rest,

The dark winter has passed.

Good times bad times..

O such is the beauty of life!

Have fun while it lasts.

Revere the glory

Of this moment.

Let go, heal your past.

© Jay Kaushal

How’s that for a shiny happy poem? 😉

New poems every Wed & Sun 12PM GMT.

I want to be remembered

I’m twenty seven
and fading away;
Fast, into oblivion.

With each day,
my years lose
the promise they held
all those years ago.

Each day takes away
from me the chance
of an early fame.

Each new day brings
meaning to my life;
And robs the meaning
from all years past.

I am at crossroads
with my own self; and
can’t decide where my
heart wants to go
and what it fears.

I am twenty seven
but I feel sixty;

Under the weight of
all the expectations carried
over from childhood dreams.

The dead dreams that
hurt my back so…
The errors in judgement
that sting my feet still,
like needles,
I never could withdraw.

From my pierced flesh
blood flows, and soothes
the dry tired soles
of young tempered feet.

Tomorrow shall be better;
But that’s what today
was supposed to be..

And yet I wait
for tomorrow once more;
Hoping and seeking redemption,
for careless teenage dreams.

I look into the mirror.

The greys have begun to glaze.
Dark circles and tired eyes.
Expressions concealed behind,
a fashionably unkempt beard.

Tarred maroon lips once
almost rosy akin feminine.

I almost miss the innocent boy,
I miss the innocence more.
I miss the promise of tomorrow..

But in tomorrow I stand,
as it has turned into today.

I miss a life,
I’ve never had.

I miss a life,
I had dreamt of someday.

© Jay Kaushal

If you liked this poem you will also like my poem Broken Dreams

Thank you!

Half a hundred,

Is a hundred,

That’s halfway there;

On the road,

To being,

one hundred percent;

What it is.

And so our journey,

Has just begun;

But we’re only halfway there,

Until we’ re done.

© Jay Kaushal

Thanks a lot to all of you! Only about 3 weeks has this blog been live and 50 followers!

Still a long long way to go.. but hey! gotta celebrate the little things, the beginnings, the first steps and the small battles fought and won.

It’s the little things, that all add up to big things in the end.

Stay grounded. Keep walking. Stay thankful. Simple recipe for success.

Thank you all so much! Keep reading.

Liebster Award

Liebster award

I am still pretty fresh on the blogging scene here on wordpress but it was nice to be nominated for something. I was nominated by Apple Rae for a Liebster Award and she commented about it on one of my blogs this morning. It instantly felt great! Thanks a lot for that Apple. I enjoy your blog and it has a pretty distinct flavour to the content. The plots are mostly women centric and a pretty good read leaving you always in a state of ‘what happens next?’. Also it must be said that Apple is one of the earliest followers of my blog. She read the first couple of poems I published online and I thank her for taking the time to read and comment on my posts.

What’s the Liebster Award?:

It’s an award in which bloggers nominate other bloggers for showing respect to their works and their dedication. It’s an appreciation and recognition for all the fellow bloggers out there in the blogosphere.

Rules:

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you in your blog post and links back to her blog.

2. Answering 11 questions that the Blogger asked you.

3. Nominate 11 new bloggers to receive the awards and write them 11 questions.

4. List the rules and display the Liebster award logo in your post on your blog.

For Rule #1:

Thanks again Apple for nominating me and reading my poems days after day. 🙂

For Rule #2:

Questions:

If you’re given a round trip ticket for free and you can choose any country, what will that be and why?

I guess Cambodia. Why? Because Lara Croft had too much fun there and I really want to explore Angkor Wat and the entire temple complex surrounding it.

What is your best physical asset?

My hands. I can paint with them, write, sketch, carve, type, punch, caress… pretty much everything!

Hot shower or cold shower? And why?

Hot shower. Hot water droplets stinging your body in a painful sweet way is almost orgasmic. 😉
But I’d say hot shower with someone you love on a cold morning.
Hot shower after workout.
Hot shower before bed.
Hot shower for no reason.
Yes, I’m practically a fish!

What/Who inspired you to start your blog and what/who inspires you everyday to keep on writing?

I was feeling really low to the point of questioning the point of my existence the day I wrote my first poem Suicide Note.
I was depressed beyond expression that day. I realized that day that no matter how much art and creativity there is inside of me, things unsaid will just remain unsaid if I die tonight. So I realized I needed to start putting my writing out there.

I had been reading a lot of Charles Bukowski, listening to a lot of Alan Watts and Les Brown for a few months before this poetry writing phase came along. I was trying to find reason in all of this chaos that my life has more or less been for the past couple of years. It’s a transition phase where I am finally picking up the courage to start doing the stuff I always wanted to do.

So I tried my hand at a youtube channel that never worked out. I am also working on a couple of manuscripts on the side but novel writing is a long drawn task. It’ll be a while before I can hope to become a published author. I also started two blogs before this one on different mediums that I never found the dedication to stick to because they bored the crap out of me and I wanted to start something that could just be ME. I guess I’m ME when I’m motivating people and writing poetry. It almost feels like being the peaceful warrior.

If I can touch even one life significantly with even a single line of any of my poems and push him to his goal, save him from suicide or stop him from giving up, I think I would have done a pretty good job.

Name your top 5 favorite books of all time.

1 Anna Karenina  by Leo Tolstoy
2 The Alchemist  by Paulo Coelho
3 The Five People You Meet In Heaven  by Mitch Albom
4 An Equal Music  by Vikram Seth
5 Tie for the last spot between Kit Hunter (The Wild One)  by Peter Grey and Call of The Wild  by Jack London

If you’re going to be a teacher or a professor, what will you teach?

Definitely History. Probably history of Art and Culture. Yeah!

If you won a million dollar today, what will be the first thing you’ll buy and why? 

If I won a million dollars I’d buy myself a good laptop and camera and give the rest away to a couple of charities. Probably one to save wildlife and the other one to feed the hungry and the homeless.

Define a good writing style or a great blog post.

It has to be engaging. I think there has to be an element of suspense in everything you write and then BAM! hit the reader with emotions he didn’t know he could feel or even had! lol
Oh yeah and edit edit edit.

What’s that one thing you should have done today that you procrastinated to do?

This post until now when I am finally doing it! Oh and there’s one more but I guess that’s coming out tomorrow morning! lol

Do you follow any particular diet? If yes, please share the details.

Less carbs, less sweets, lots of salad, lots of buttermilk, lots of water, 3 cups of creamy black tea a day and a strictly vegetarian diet. Keeps your skin glowing, mood peppy and bowels clean. 😉

What hurts you the most?

When people play me based on how emotional I am. I am an emotional fool and people play me on that and think they’ve accomplished something great. I even the f**k out with them later of course. Don’t hurt me I WILL remember. 😀

For Rule#3:

Here are my list of Nominees for the Liebster Award. Most of the blogs I follow have more than 2-4 thousand followers so I thought it best to nominate comparatively upcoming blogs I enjoy.

https://dilipsnaps.wordpress.com/

https://theyouthfultraveller.com/

https://elleguyence.wordpress.com/

https://semipoetry.wordpress.com/

https://ideaprovoker.wordpress.com/

Here are my 11 questions for you:

  1. If you were microscopically small what would you rather do and why?

A. Ski down a triple vanilla sundae
B. Row across a cup of hot chocolate on a marshmallow

2. Which do you prefer: Something cold to drink on a hot day or something hot to drink on a cold day?

3. Which one of the FRIENDS cast is your favourite and why?

4. If money was not a problem what profession would you choose?

5. Why did you start blogging? What keeps you going?

6. List 5 things on your work table.

7. Describe your favourite piece of clothing? How long have you had it?

8. Which is your most treasured childhood memory?

9. Who is your idol? (It could even be a fictional character)

10. Which according to you is your most under rated blog post that should have gotten wayyyy more likes than it has?

11. Complete this sentence using at least 4 words:

Life is not merely………….

So there! I’ll be waiting patiently for the nominees’ response to this. Thank you very much.